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Joke of the Day

"The thing I love most about this fall weather is the UGG boots and yoga pants.. ... Though, they do make me look a bit gay."

"Hodor is the ultimate gentleman! He always holds the door."

"Everyone has a friend who laughs funnier than he jokes."

"My wife's fantasy is to be with another man. Mine is to have two girls at the same time. She must have misunderstood because now we have twin daughters from the mailman"

"What do you call an Eskimo optometrist? ...An optical Aleutian. I actually made this one up. But if someone else said it first, I wouldn't be surprised."

"Almost Instant Joy Find any Fast Song (Rap to Electro) Click Settings, Crank up the Speed 1.25: 1.5: Instant Twerk Music 2: The 2 is for 2Fast6You Only on Computers. RIP Phone Users"

"I hate when someone steals my idea before I've had it."

"This holiday season, get your girl a Jared Diamond ...but get her Collapse--she's probably already read Guns, Germs, and Steel."

"My dishwasher makes this loud rumbling sound... Strange thing is, it only seems to happen at night, when she's sleeping."

"My mate just hired an Eastern European cleaner, took her 15 hours to Hoover the house. Turns out she was a Slovak."