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Joke of the Day

"Bottom line: parenting interferes with my ability to be lazy."

"I got this really good lifeprotip while in the shower, but I forgot it when I dropped the soap. Ah, now I remember what it was. Never pick up the soap when showering in a prison."

"Cello Green has T-Rex arms."

"Just found out that Norway has the highest cost of living in Europe... There's Norway I could A-Fjord to live there."

"I asked a Chinese girl for her number She replied, ""Sex! Sex! Sex! Free sex tonight!"" I was like ""WOW"" Then her friend said, ""She means 6663629."""

"Is your refrigerator running? Because if so I would vote for it."

"What do little piglets do on a Saturday night? Have a pigjama party!"

"Burger King needs a new slogan. Something like ""we clean our bathrooms now."""

"What do you get when you have a nosey pepper? It gets jalapeno business."

"What's the best thing about Switzerland? Not sure, but the flag is a big plus."