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Joke of the Day

"Adding ""and shit"" to the end of a sentence to make it sound cooler and shit."

"Pregnant wife: Are you going to be a good big sister? 3-year-old: Babies are jerks."

"Why didn't the bear go to college? Because bears don't go to college."

"I opened the door to find my friend masturbating. He yelled ""Close the door!"" So I yelled, ""Get inside!"""

"My wife's been nagging me to see the dentist about a tooth extraction. She says getting me to go is like pulling teeth."

"What did one little lesbian frog say to the other? ""We really do taste like chicken!"""

"A horse walks into a bar The bartender asks ""why the long face?"" The horse unable to understand human speech promptly takes a dump on the floor and leaves"

"The French name for I Can't Believe It's Not Butter translates literally to False Butter Has Entered Our Home"

"I need a less intrusive addiction than Twitter so I started using meth this morning."

"My signature move is asking a co-worker wearing a suit on dress down Fridays, ""how did the job interview go?"" in front of everyone."