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Joke of the Day

"What do you call a bored motherfucker? Grandpa"

"I'm Japanese. I took my Viagra this morning. .. Now I'm ready for erection day."

"Sometimes I see a baby and think ""Aww, I want one!"" Then I find my TV remote in the fridge again and think ""Yeah, maybe I'm not ready."""

"Whats the difference between an Asian man and a box of chocolates? They'll both kill your dog, but the Asian will cook it afterwards."

"Two ducks are arguing in a bar about quantum physics... One turns to the other and says, 'Quark Quark' The other says, I'll have a Harvey Schrodinger, thanks'."

"I got tired of resetting all my clocks after all the power outages this week. Today I woke up at the crack of random, blinking time o'clock."

"Did you hear about the organic chemical terrorist group? They call themselves Al-Dehydes."

"What's the opposite of Christopher Walken Christopher Reeve"

"What do pizza delivery drivers and gynecologist shave in common? They both have to smell it but never get to eat it"

"Lady at the door asked if I'd found Jesus and I was all HOW IS HE MISSING, IT WAS YOUR DAY TO WATCH HIM. I don't think she'll be back."