92015

Joke of the Day

"JESUS: so I'm u GOD: yes JESUS: and ur me GOD: yes JESUS: I don't get it GOD: I do JESUS: how can one of us get it & not the other GOD: whoa"

"So my lesbian neighbours asked me what I wanted for my birthday... They got me a Rolex. I guess they misunderstood when I said ""I wanna watch""."

"How do you get a blonde pregnant? Cum in her shoes and let the flies do the rest."

"A Three legged dog walks into the old wild west saloon He says to the bartender, ""I'm lookin' fer the guy who shot my paw."""

"Dear women: we don't give a shit about eyebrows. Love, men."

"What did the Ukrainian Scientist receive after discovering the dangers of radiation? A Chernobel Prize."

"Why did a pair of tomatoes play footsie? To-mate-toes!"

"I'm tired of saving Daylight... You would think that saving his ass every year you would at least deserve a 'thank you'"

"Little known fact Delicacy is French for ""I dare you to eat this""."

"GOD: Peter, you will be heaven's bouncer ST PETER: What the hell, I don't want ST BERNARD (whispering): Shut up or he'll make you a dog"