9187

Joke of the Day

"""How much ice does it take to preserve a dead body?"" *I ask on twitter because googling it gets people caught."

"I hate it when you're sitting on the bus... ...and the local weirdo gets on and sits next to you. You know the type. The ones that watch you masturbate."

"What do you call something that is big, red, and sucks cock? A big red cocksucker."

"How many Firefly fans disc it take to screw in a light bulb? None. The just stand around for years bitching about how it went out. EDIT: does not disc."

"What do you call a muslim on a plane? A passenger."

"Q: What is Iraq's national bird? A: Duck."

"Accidentally got two shots of hand sanitizer so if you need me I'll be rubbing my hands together for the rest of my life."

"Wife: Let's go outside. 3-year-old: No! The deer will eat me. Wife: Deer don't eat people 3: The zombie ones do Wife: Get your dad. Now."

"What do you call a Mankee who Raps A Rhymeape"

"A man was arrested for marrying two ugly women... He was charged with pigamy."