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Joke of the Day

"I recently met up with an old girlfriend of mine and we immediately started having sex... ...The police got annoyed, however - they only wanted me to identify the body."

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"Pizza is like sex When it's good, it's the best. When it's bad, it's still pretty good"
"I'm not ashamed to say that when I saw everyone was getting these new ""selfie sticks"" for Xmas I thought it was some new fantastic deodorant"
"Racism is like Nickelback... I like to joke about it, but I never want to see it live."
"Just threw away a trash can. That was weird."
"What do you call an electro-food? (it's giga-bite!) yeah it was giga bite yeah you're right yeah giga bite that was it giga bite it!!"
"Yoy can't write an essay overnight You can't write an essay overnight but you have to in 30 minutes for a test."
"My friend asked me if I had a blast on my birthday. I told him I had such a blast, ISIS would have been proud!"
"What is it when a man talks nasty to a woman? Sexual harassment. What is it when a woman talks nasty to a man? $3.99 a minute"
"How does the moon cut his hair Eclipse it!"