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Joke of the Day

"How many feminists does it take to dismantle the patriarchy? None. Once they shut up, no-one has any reason left to oppress them :)"

"A Muslim cannibal walks into a bar The bar tender says, 'Wow, is it true that human meat tastes like pork?"" The Muslim says ""How am I supposed to know? I'm a Muslim, I don't eat pork."""

"""Put your hands in the air like you just don't care"" is offensive to those of us in the apathy community. But whatever."

"My neighbour knocked on my door at 2:30am, can you fucking believe that, 2:30am. Luckily for him I was still up playing my Bagpipes."

"If it's true that we are here to help others, then what exactly are the others here for?"

"Kids: *jumping on me* WAKE UP Me: I'm woke Kids: How woke? Me: We're putting Harriet Tubman on something that enslaves us all today."

"What's 9 + 10? Dix Neuf"

"(in dog boss' office) ""Smith, you're fired."" Fine. I guess I'll just WALK out... (boss' tail starts wagging) ""Wait Smith get back here"""

"Fun trick to play on your partner: ""Don't you remember what day this is?"""

"How do you organise a space party? You planet."