91131

Joke of the Day

"How does Hitler turn on his lights? Aulightschwitz."

"On the Wikipedia page for List of Serial Killers by Number of Victims it says ""This page is incomplete. You can help by expanding it."" Omg."

"I met a girl in a bar last night and she said she wanted the night to be magical.... So I fucked her and disappeared."

"At least in 4 years we'll be able to look back at this election with 2020 vision."

"Did you hear about the one asian guy who failed calculus? He was the odd Nguyen out."

"CHECK OUT BUZZFEED'S TOP 10 LIST OF GODS FOR ATHEISTS. YOU WON'T BELIEVE NUMBER 1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, OR 10."

"Look on the bright side, your insomnia keeps most of the spiders out of your mouth."

"I've got a bag full of stick figure stickers, and when I see an SUV I add random dudes to their families."

"What do you call a sleeping dinosaur? A tyrano-snore-us rex."

"A programmer's wife sends him to the store for a loaf of bread. On his way out she adds, ""and if they have eggs, get a dozen"". He returns home with 12 loaves of bread."