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Joke of the Day

"My friend said he knew a man with a wooden leg named Smith. . . My friend said he knew a man with a wooden leg named Smith. So I asked him ""What was the name of his other leg?"""

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"IPhone 7 headphone jack [removed]"
"You know when you lie, things can get out of hand very quickly....... For example I heard about a girl who lied to her husband about how she got pregnant and now there is an entire religion."
"What do you get when you cross a monastery with a convent? A cloister fuck, obviously."
"What does a train full of grain's whistle sound like? ""COUS, COUS!!!"""
"2 apples are sitting in an oven One apple looks to the other and says ""Man is it hot in here or what?"" The second apple screams ""Holy shit!?! A talking apple!"""
"Manatees come in all sorts of shades and hues Oh the hue manatee"
"Hey guys quick question, can you put a pin back in a grenade? Gonna need a fast answer for this one..."
"Apparently, saying I prefer the babysitter not have a gag reflex isn't as appropriate as it seemed when I wrote the ad."
"A penny saved is a penny that will sit around in a jar for five years ;)"