91072

Joke of the Day

"What's one definite outcome from a Drumpf Presidency? Four more years of great South Park!"

"I like my weekdays like Marx likes his societies. Classless."

"I hate playing chess with Australian players Every check is a check, mate."

"I painted my computer black hoping it would run faster, but now it just doesn't work."

"I decided to try out a new Mediterranean recipe that takes 2 hours to cook. I've got a lot of thyme on my hands."

"How did Helen Keller break her arms? She tried to read a road sign going 45mph"

"Photos: World's tallest man meets world's shortest man"

"What did the school in Egypt finally get? A new bus."

"Jesus: Go forth. You are now fishers of men. Peter: *harpoons a guy* Jesus: Too literal, bro."

"For this New Years resolution I'm not going to smoke any more weed. But I'm not gonna smoke any less either."