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Joke of the Day

"I masturbated so good last night That i woke up to find my dick making breakfast"

"*voluntarily spends hours on the internet daily* neato *friend sends 5-min video to watch* do i look like im made of free time or something"

"WIFE: Hey why are all our potatoes dressed in tiny outfits and arranged in a little scene? ME: [hiding Photato Album] Why? Do you like it?"

"Pretty similar... Tea is the only difference between meh and meth."

"Why did Will die? Because the commanding officer told his soldiers: ""Fire at will"""

"Mosquitoes This is two mosquitoes that go a bike and back tells of front: Hey, so, who has gotten me Fly in the eye ...!"

"Why doesn't Ebola harm fruit? Because if it affected an Apple it'd be called I-Bola."

"I wanted to be a gynecologist, but I couldn't find an opening."

"My cat said ""meow"", so I answered with a ""meow"", and now I'm afraid of what I may have agreed to."

"I made a joke about candy today... ... it made me snicker"