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Joke of the Day

"Cashier: would u like a bag? Me: no I'll just carry the economy box of pads & Midol out so whoever thinks of kidnapping me will think twice"

"Why do asian parents give their children short names? More time on tests."

"I heard you guys like corny jokes I'll give you an ear full : ^ )"

"""It doesn't matter if you win or lose, it's how you play the game."" -Losers"

"3 biggest women lies :) 1. I will not change after marriage. 2. I forgive you. --- EDIT: 2. It's fine. I forgive you. 3. I am going shopping. I will be back in 30 minutes."

"Did you hear the bad news about the Italian chef? He pasta way."

"Why did Santa flick a booger on Beyonce? bc shes a cunt"

"Your resume just says ""falconer"" ""And?"" Well, this is a bank *falcon starts break-dancing* ""Not yet Tyler, wait until he offers us the job"""

"DISH FATHER: You can NEVER see that spoon again! *daughter dish starts sobbing* [outside the window, Spoon is thinking] we leave tonight"

"I tried writing some jokes on Weed But I was too high to remember to write them down"