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Joke of the Day

"I'm not sexist... Because that's wrong and being wrong is for women..."

"My SO thinks it's sexy to bite her lip... I haven't got the heart to tell her it should be the bottom one...."

"My wife was captured by a gang of mimes. They did unspeakable things to her."

"Q: What is printed on the bottom of a bottle in Michigan? (Found on /r/linux) A: Open the other end"

"Eat food with the fridge open in front of the other food to establish dominance as well as prepare for the next feeding."

"what's a cheap, tasteless way to kill a werewolf? Coors Lite, the silver bullet"

"Fe Fi Fo Fum Rhyme scheme tweets are kinda dumb"

"What do the Japanese do when they have an erection? They vote, you lacist."

"What does a Mexican carpet fitter say to motivate his colleagues? Underlay! Underlay!"

"Why are the saxophone afraid of the trombone? Because the trombone is a sax offender."