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Joke of the Day

"There's a very thin line between having your foot out of the covers enough to stay cool but not enough so it gets eaten by monsters."

Next Joke
 
"Don't send me a face and then wonder why I show up at your house naked."
"What's the difference between Trump and a Tree? Only one can get stumped..."
"Daniel Day-Lewis is so method that in preparation for the role of Abraham Lincoln in 'Lincoln' he spent ten months on the side of a penny."
"This is one of those gems thought up at 4 am, why does nobody listen to Neo-Nazis? It's all just white noise."
"*wife sees me grab emergency kit from trunk after getting a flat tire* calm down brent just call a tow tru*I'm already shooting flare gun*"
"Would I miss my leg or my arm more? (me, lying in bed, deciding which to put outside the blanket for the monster under the bed to rip off)"
"Why is Simba slower that his dad? Because his papa mufasa."
"Hope is a single man's game... A married man can't get none ""I hope she ain't mad"" she is. ""I hope I get head tonight"" you won't. ""I hope I'm not in trouble"" you are."
"Oh, you used ""whom"" in casual conversation. Well, I didn't realize I was in the presence of William Fucking Shakespeare."