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Joke of the Day

"Hey baby, you got an inhaler? Because you got dat Ass-ma."

"[infomercial] ME: wanna know how to lose 15 lbs with 1 easy trick?! AUDIENCE: YES! *a surgeon amputates my leg right there on stage*"

"Why did the kleptomaniac spend so much time in Bed Bath and Beyond? He was taking a sheet."

"Good cop: *sits* Bad cop: *pees on the floor* Wait, I'm thinking of dogs"

"There are over 4 million workplace injuries reported every year. Play it safe...call in sick tomorrow."

"What's loud and sounds like ""apples""? *APPLES!!!*"

"Boy: The principal is so dumb! Girl: Do you know who I am? Boy: No... Girl: I am the principal's daughter! Boy: Do you know who I am? Girl: No... Boy: Good! *walks away*"

"If breaking a mirror brings 7 years of bad luck, does breaking a lightbulb bring 7 years of bad ideas?"

"How do you turn a fruit into a vegetable? A brick to the back of his head should do it."

"There are 10 types of people... (with a twist) There are 10 types of people, those who know binary and those who don't and those who understand the off-by-one error."