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Joke of the Day

"Waiting for everyone in this church service to bow their head in prayer so I can update my fantasy football roster."

"*Takes your face in my hands* *Looks deep into your eyes* *Whispers ""You make me want to spend the rest of my life avoiding you"" *"

"Programmed Siri to respond to any request with ""That's what she said."""

"What's the difference between feminism and Islam? One is demonized by the actions and beliefs of a small minority. The other believes in the wage gap myth."

"What's black, jobless, homeless, fatherless, and has no life? Harambe."

"Why's the little boy scarred for life after going to buy his mom some earrings? He went to Jared."

"What's the difference between a Penis and a paycheck? Penis is the male reproductive organ. Paycheck is a check that used to pay an employee for his work."

"What kind of laundry detergent do handicapped people use? Downy. I apologize for this one, it's pretty mean. I really do sympathize with handicapped people."

"How did Moses make his tea. Hebrew it. This is not a joke Israel."

"Why was the mushroom always invited to parties? Because he was a fungi..."