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Joke of the Day

"""Owen, you must hide this baby, at all costs, from Anakin Skywalker."" ""Okay. Should we continue to call him Luke Skywalker?"" ""Seems fine."""

"What's the difference between a Christmas star and a bad pickling job? One brightly shines..."

"How many light bulbs does it take to change a light bulb? They can't, they're not bright enough."

"You're a vegetarian? That's a missed steak"

"I could have sworn I heard a chorus of a thousand tiny voices rising up from the shower drain to wish me a Happy Fathers Day."

"Why did the farmer fence in the bull? The farmer had too much of a steak in him to let him go!"

"What's worse than a cardboard box? Paper titties"

"I hate people who love anal sex They're all fucking assholes"

"I remember when my grad father first got his pace maker Every time he would go to use the microwave he would piss his pants and forget who he was for about an half an hour or so."

"What do the English use to blow up their enemies? Tea N' Tea."