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Joke of the Day
"my ideal date: shoplifting sushi from Walgreens then holding hands for 3 hours"
Next Joke
"You wouldn't steal a gate. So why would you take offense?"
"Why did the bartender put on a sweater? She thought it was a little drafty."
"I love children, especially when they cry and someone takes them away."
"So this Ethiopian's eating a lion right... Just kidding"
"I think people who use ""go fly a kite"" as an insult don't really understand kites or insults."
"""Is there a genius in the house?! It's an emergency!"" *I start to get up from table* *wife discretely stops me* *I silently agree with wife*"
"What do you call a crazy person wearing pantaloons? A pantalunatic."
"One time my mom dropped her phone while she was talking to me then picked it up and said ""You OK?"""
"Dr: I'm giving u a proton-pump inhibitor Me: LIKE A GHOSTBUSTER? D: No for acid reflu *sees tears welling in my eyes* yes for busting ghosts"