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Joke of the Day

"Have you heard that all the buses and trains are stopping today? No. Is there a strike? No they're stopping to let the passengers off."

"Why did a footballer take a piece of rope onto the pitch ? He was the skipper !"

"If Hillary wins I'm moving to Benghazi at least she'll ignore me there!"

"What is the similarity between a black man and a bike? They both only work with a chain on."

"Jesus dropped his cross for the 3rd time, and Simon of Cyrene said to him: ""Do you even lift bro?"""

"I had this nightmare that Salma Hayek and Kevin Hart were trying to tell me something at the same time and expected me to understand it"

"Back in high school I never went for mean girls because I prefer them above average"

"There is a new Barbie doll on the market - Headgear Barbie ...guaranteed to make kids with braces feel better!"

"I drink Rockstar cause I'm a rockstar. My wife drinks Monster."

"[office] DAVE: We're having a baby SUE: Congratulations! ME: [suspicious that Dave is a seahorse] Looking forward to the birth, Dave?"