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Joke of the Day
"""Where will you see yourself in 15 years?"" A Mirror"
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"This lady on the train has that raspy, cigarette, alcohol, at death's door kinda voice. I'ma see if she'll record my voice mail message."
"Taken 4: Liam Neeson's daughter is kidnapped again. He calls up kidnappers and says ""just keep her. She's annoying and I'm tired of this"""
"Today I called the rape help line... But apparently it's just meant for the victims."
"I love my cat to bits. That's why I planted a C4 in her bed!"
"A doctor tells a man that he has to stop masturbating. The man is surprised and says, ""Why?"" And the doctor says,""Because I'm trying to examine you!"""
"How I met your mother was....... How I met your mother was.....nothing but a 9 year (season) long TED Talk"
"My local council just installed a zebra crossing near the primary school What a waste of money, I've never even seen a zebra in this town"
"The generation of today are so allergic to everything, future wars will be fought by throwing bags of peanuts and cat hair at each other."
"I sneezed and my bra unsnapped. I think this cold is trying to seduce me."