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Joke of the Day

"Of course Bruce Willis is going to keep playing the same movie roles. You know what they say about old habits....."

"My 'home to pants off' speed ratio is unparalleled."

"Two seats open. One next to a good looking girl who noticed me as I walked in. The other by a wall outlet. She'll find love in another man."

"When's sex not work? When it's for play."

"The joke is on you, fruit flies. We don't even have any fruit."

"I came home to find my apartment covered in feathers and egg.... ... I think I've got a poultrygeist!"

"When I die, I hope it's in a women's dressing room because if I become a ghost, that would be AWESOME!"

"Autistic guy didn't get paid for a whole year while working at Applebee's. Life is hard for stauving autists."

"What's the last thing you hear before a pubic hair falls to the ground? *spits*"

"where is the best way to hide a nutella? i'm nutelling you"