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Joke of the Day

"""Chest, chest, chest and chest, chest and chest"" - T-Rex singing ""Head, shoulders, knees and toes""."

"Your momma's so fat... she doesn't go back for seconds, she goes back for hours."

"What is trees' preferred drug? Water. It helps them get high."

"So there's this mollusk And he walks up to the sea cucumber and he says, ""With knees like these, who needs anemones!"""

"What's green with little red wheels? Grass. I was lying about the little red wheels. Missing my grandpa today. This was always his favorite."

"What is a pirate's favorite fast food restaurant? Long John Silvers."

"Where was Matthew McConaughey headed in those Lincoln commercials? Dunno but I'm sure he made all rights all rights all rights."

"two fish are in a.... Two fish are in a tank. One says to the other, 'do you know how to drive this thing?'"

"A grown man smelling like baby powder stood next to me today. My maternal instincts have never been so confused."

"Warning: 18+ [link!](http://imgur.com/dkKxyoa)"