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Joke of the Day
"I was watching you while you slept. You look pretty stupid."
Next Joke
"Being in love is amazing, the way it takes your breath away, closes your air passages and renders you unconscio--no, wait, that's asthma."
"Do not go golfing with Admiral Ackbar. All he does is obsess about the location of sand hazards."
"What's the most American food? Popcorn, because you have to blow it up before you eat it."
"Did you hear about the man who lost his whole left side? He's all right now."
"What's the difference between anal sex and oral sex? One makes your whole day, the other makes your hole weak."
"How can you tell if a shark has dandruff? He left his head and shoulders on the beach."
"[At a psychic fair] Psychic: Ask whatever you want to know. Success? Work? Love? Money? Me: Can you tell me where my car keys are?"
"""If you're flying with 3 kids, pick the 1 with the highest earning potential & then work your way down with oxygen masks."" -Flight attendant"
"Hey.. What do you call a really good taco? ...Juan-derful"