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Joke of the Day
"Dating tip: don't mention your time as a Boy Scout, let your sash full of badges do the talkin."
Next Joke
"You never realize how boring life is until someone asks you what you like to do for fun."
"[quietly tries to open a can of beer] driving instructor: what was that"
"When I die, I'd like my coffin to be filled with Reese's Pieces so on my headstone it can say ""R.I.R.P."""
"Oh, a BEAR hug. *starts putting clothes back on*"
"I signed a petition to end women's suffering yesterday. Oops. Sorry: autocorrect. *suffrage."
"How many babies does it take to paint a wall? Depends on how hard you throw them."
"I opened Twitter at a red light once, and when I looked up, a week had passed and I was sitting in police impound."
"How do you circumcise a whale? Four skin divers."
"What is a Catholic's favorite weapon? Nun-chucks."