213706
Joke of the Day
"Did you hear about the woman with guns for tits? She was pretty Barrel-Chested."
Next Joke
"I bet the Americans feel really stupid now. They've spent millions fighting ISIS when all they had to do was change their profile picture."
"Brobbits before Hobbits"
"What does Batman say when he goes down on a woman? To the bat cave!"
"""Dude, you're getting a Dell!"" - Me pulling my spoiled unruly son out of the Apple Store"
"why do people carry umbrellas? because umbrellas cant walk. (ba dum tsss) i suck at jokes :(((("
"I'm sorry, sir, but your cholesterol isn't high enough to buy this Hawaiian shirt."
"*Neighbor text - Sorry for using your wife. Use only when you're not at home* *Shoots Wife* *Neighbor text again - I mean 'Wifi' not wife*"
"Why was the egg laughing when it fell off the table? Because it cracked itself up."
"""You're going to leave me for someone younger,"" my wife explained. ""That's not right,"" I assured her. ""They could be older too."""