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Joke of the Day
"*points to wrist* this is my Fitbit. *points to rest of body* this is my fatbit."
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"Why is Latvian cross road? Latvian see potato, but when cross is only secret police."
"How does a woman show she's planning for the future? Plastic Surgery."
"What do you call a blind German? A Nazi"
"I thought burying my wurst for a few days would improve its attitude, but it just became a spoiled brat. I'm sorry. That was completely terrible. I shouldn't have wasted your time."
"Wanna hear a joke about my dick? Nah, it's too long."
"What do you call a tweaker (meth addict) who goes to church? A Crystal Methodist."
"I always thought a chickpea was just when girls go to the bathroom in groups."
"You know what's fucking shit? A scat fetish"
"Two fish are swimming upstream and one of the fish hits his head against concrete. He looks to the other, and says ""dam"""