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Joke of the Day

"Soldier Smith! I did not see you at camouflage training yesterday! -Sir, Thank you very much, Sir!"

"I'm going to tell you a pizza joke actually never mind it's too cheesy."

"The year is 2027. Voice to text is flawless. A young child points at a bird and says, ""Duck"". His mother slaps him."

"Where do you find a birthday present for a cat? In a cat-alogue!"

"My friend's in a wheelchair and he acts like he's the toughest guy around. He can talk the talk, but..."

"Doctor Doctor I feel like an apple. We must get to the core of this!"

"What part of the vegetable is hardest to eat? The wheelchair."

"I gave a homeless guy some cheese today. I feel gouda 'bout it."

"Knock knock Who's there? Broken pencil Broken pencil who? Nevermind, it's pointless..."

"The restraining order doesn't mean we can't hangout. It just says I can't get within 50 ft of you. So you wanna play catch or Frisbee or something?"