86741

Joke of the Day

"You know why you like stupid pun-y jokes? Because they /r/funny"

"Waking up this morning was an eye-opening experience."

"Did you hear about the guy that got shot in the back of the head in a movie theater? He was sitting in front of pee wee herman."

"Did I ever tell you guys about the time I made it with my really hot math teacher? couldn't really brag about it at the time 'cause I was home schooled..."

"A drug dealer sold me shoes today I don't know what he laced them with because I've been tripping all day."

"I'm so damn tired. I haven't slept since last year."

"Today, I had two religious people for dinner. That makes me an ""ate-theist""."

"Man walks into a bakery Says to the baker ""I'd like to buy a wasp please."" The baker says ""Sir, we don't sell wasps."" The man replies ""Well there's one in your shop window!"""

"1day I'll be thankful my daughter is an independent iron willed human w/an unrelenting strong voice,but not today, not in this grocery store"

"What is the difference between Jesus and a picture of Jesus? You only need one nail to hang up the picture."