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Joke of the Day

"Currently on minute 137 of Easy~Bake Oven cupcakes. I'll be live Tweeting their status as they crisp up over the next day or two."

"A muslim arrives in paradise. He demands his 72 virgins but it turns out there just aren't enough women in heaven. He insists on his virgins. So he's given 72 female babies made in China."

"It's afro-carribean day at work tomorrow. I'm dreading it."

"""Here, let me fuck it up for you."" - Every kid ever"

"What do you call a suicidal cow? Cowmikaze."

"Teacher : Were you copying his sums ? Pupil : No Sir just seeing if he got mine right !"

"Once you throw a paper airplane it's no longer..... Stationary. Credit: u/Breeze_In_ The _ Trees"

"Two guys stole a calendar and divided it equally, but they got caught. They each got six months."

"I'm that friend that you have to explain to people before you introduce me and apologize about afterwards."

"What type of Martial Arts does Jesus know? Jiu Jitsu."