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Joke of the Day

"I lost a good friend today, he asked me to pick up some non-alcoholic beer."

"Toddlers always feel like the floor of a movie theater."

"LPT: Reproduce"

"I DO help with the laundry. My wife just doesn't understand. I wear the same jeans for like two weeks straight."

"So a hunter walks in to a bar and says, ""Bear with me""."

"I gave a Republican an IQ test... He rolled it up and tried to shoot me in the dick with it."

"Did you hear about the cook who stole parsley from his restaurant? They had to [garnish](http://legal-dictionary.thefreedictionary.com/garnish) his wages."

"children are cool because they're the perfect height for me to fart directly into their mouths without having to really exert myself"

"A black man, a muslim and a gypsy were in a car. Who was driving? A police officer."

"There was a man who left a boombox on a mountain. The rocks were rocking on."