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Joke of the Day

"How did Chad Kroeger lose a quarter? Everyone who bought his tickets wanted their nickelback"

"What's the difference between Caitlyn Jenner and two kids playing catch at the park? I actually give a shit if the kids lose their balls."

"Why did the tomato turn red? Because it saw the salad dressing"

"I killed my twin because she wouldn't admit that she was the evil one."

"Why did the condom leave so quickly? Because it got pissed off."

"Answer to the seagulls riddle. To beat the Portuguese (it's a New Bedord/Falmouth/Vineyard joke)."

"My level of sarcasm's gotten to a point where I don't even know if I'm kidding or not."

"I just gave birth... I had a cow."

"Me: You never told me you were on the debate team in college.. Her: Yes I did. Me: No you didn't. Her: Yes I did. Me: Oh you're good!"

"What did the Seattle-based baker say to her apprentice? Someday you will bake like I bake."