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Joke of the Day

"Are guys smarter before, during, or after sex with a woman? During, you're plugged into a know-it-all."

"My favorite sexual position is the JFK I splatter all over her while she screams and tries to get out of the car."

"Mario's Jeans What kind of jeans does Mario wear? *(in appropriate melody)* Denim, denim, denim..."

"Why do cows wear bells around there neck? Because there horns don't work. :)"

"I hope I can kill my feelings before my liver."

"What's Trump's least favourite vegetable? Cillary!"

"If I had a dollar for every gender that exists.... I'd have two dollars."

"Yo momma's so fat... Her Patronus is a Birthday Cake."

"I used to be square but then I gave my self to a higher power... Now I'm stuck in this cubical all day"

"Why are sharts always a surprise? Because you can never see that shit coming."