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Joke of the Day

"Why do you not run over a Mexican on a bicycle? It could be your bicycle!"

"What do you get when you cross a monastery with a convent? A cloister fuck, obviously."

"Does ""You'll find love when you're not looking for it"" apply to money too? Because let me be clear I am NOT looking for $10 million dollars."

"Thanks for the glitter covered greeting card. I'll never forget this gesture because EVERY SURFACE IN MY HOUSE IS COVERED IN GLITTER NOW"

"Where did Abdelhamid Abaaoud do most of his craft shopping? Wahabi Lobby."

"Someone stole my mood ring. I don't know how i feel about that."

"Why are school shooters more likely to be white people? White people actually go to school. Black people stay home and shoot people in their own neighborhood."

"I walked into the bar sober with $42 & walked out drunk with $42. But you're right fellas, men are smarter than women."

"We have a local weatherman who often forecasts ""changeable skies."" He makes a lot of money to make that call."

"Did you hear about the vampire comedian? He went straight for the jocular every time"