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Joke of the Day

"I measure how hard I'm working by whether I feel compelled to close my eyes and nap while sitting on the toilet."

"What did Hitler name his network switch to? Auswitch"

"How are two gay guys who are perfect for each other similar to an Ancient Chinese Emperor? They both had a mandate from heaven."

"What is Dracula's girlfriend called when she gives him head? Down for the count!"

"I would give 10 to most jokes here On a pH scale, cause most of them are just Basic."

"What did Drake say to 2Chainz as he was leaving da club? Challah at ya boy!"

"I have a degree in men's studies. It's called ""world history"". #TRUMP 2016! YOU CAN'T STUMP THE TRUMP!"

"Why are black people so fast? Because all the slow ones are in prison"

"'Expect the unexpected' Now that would make the unexpected the expected, but since the expected is being expected, then that would mean it wasn't the unexpected, so what the fuck do we expect?"

"What I reply with when someone asks, ""What'd the comment say?"" [Removed]"