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Joke of the Day

"I hate it when I have lots of visitors but only enough chloroform for one and have to use it on myself."

"I only eat free range chicken because I only eat food that was given the illusion of freedom before it was murdered"

"Breakups are worst in China.... ... Wherever you go you see his/her face."

"Home alone... Time to teach the neighbors what good music sounds like!"

"Brazil - Germany Football Game Ok, I see Germany scored a touchdown and point after, but how the heck did Brazil get 1 point?"

"What type of wrists are the scariest? Terror wrists."

"Two black men are in a car. Who's driving? The policeman."

"Trust is the most important thing in a relationship. After all, if you can't trust your girlfriend, how do you know she won't tell your wife?"

"What did one mouse say to the other mouse? I get a click out of you."

"I thought she said ""tantrum sex"" and this is probably the most I've ever disappointed a woman."