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Joke of the Day

"A car goes to the grocery store... For the first time, who didn't see one's part because it was the only one left"

"Somebody actually complimented me on my parking today. They left a note on the windscreen. It said, ""Parking fine"", so that was nice."

"Vladimir Putin's Anthem Q. What is Russia's current Anthem? A. ""Putin on the Blitz"""

"My veterinarian told me to stop feeding my cows round bales of hay... they don't provide a square meal"

"They don't bury an Amish man with his beard. They bury him with shovels."

"Why is everyone bragging about how great it is to have kids? I slept till noon today, and the only person who threw up last night was me."

"Did you know that too much Viagra can also make you confused? Yeah - it happened to this stand-up comic - he told the room ... Thank you very much, I 'll be hard all week ..."

"I like my women the way... I like my wine...12 years old and in the cellar."

"This one time, a work colleague declared The Avengers to be a better film than The Dark Knight. That was a busy day in HR, I can tell you."

"Yo mama is so fat, she has more chins than a Chinese phonebook"