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Joke of the Day

"I'm not saying I don't like you, but if you had an open wound I'd hand you a salt shaker."

"Why does America spell colour without the u? because fuck u"

"if religion is the opium of the masses then i smoke weed everyday!"

"My neighbourhood barber just got arrested for selling drugs I've been his customer for 6 years. I had no idea he was a barber."

"Level of singleness: yelling, ""pizza's here!"" So the delivery man doesn't think all the pizza is just for me..."

"""There is a rumor going around that Facebook is building a cell phone.It's pretty good, except you can only use it to call people you barely remember from high school."""

"What do lawyers and sperm have in common? 1 in 3 million have a chance of becoming a human being"

"The only thing worse than a male chauvinistic pig is a woman that won't do as she is told."

"Did you hear about the newly-released Michael Jackson autobiography? It's called ""The Ins and Outs of Child Rearing."""

"(._.) ( I: ) (.-.) ( :I ) (._.) They see me rollin', they hatin'"