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Joke of the Day

"Year: 2020 Cause of death: iPhone 10 Plus fell on his head."

"What's a married couples favorite sex position? Doggy Style. The husband sits up and begs, while the wife rolls over and plays dead."

"I had a dream last night... ...that I was eating a massive marshmallow, it was huge! And then when I woke up this morning, my pillow was gone!"

"MEN 'N' LIGHTBULBS How many men does it take to screw in a lightbulb? One, men will screw anything."

"I've been arrested for robbing a bank dressed as a frog. It's the first time I've ever kermitted a crime."

"So I was having sex the other day"

"How many talking heads does it take to screw in a lightbulb? Two. One to hold the bulb, and another to spin the story until the bulb fits."

"damn girl are you my old Gamecube? because for some reason i cant turn you on anymore but we used to have alot of fun"

"My girlfriend's best friend had her arm stuck in the dirt this morning She asked me how to get her hand out quickly. I told her, ""Dig south for her arm, bae."""

"Me: Why do you love me? Wife: *shrugs* Me: Why do you find me annoying? Wife: *reveals six spreadsheets and a pie chart*"