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Joke of the Day

"[LPT request] how to wake up from a bad dream. Wait. What do you mean he's really president?"

"What do a daycare and my basement have in common? Both have a bunch of screaming children in them."

"What did the clitoris say to her therapist? ""I'm a bundle of nerves right now!"""

"Why aren't there any asprins in the jungle? The parrots-eat-em-all."

"Why don't ants get sick? Because of their tiny little anty bodies"

"Why monkeys make terrible drivers: bad depth perception, suffer from road rage & fling poop at other drivers."

"Instead of the standard 140, people should only be allowed as many characters as they have IQ points."

"joke of the day Yo momma is so fat, I took a picture of her last Christmas and it's still printing. -"

"Did you hear about the scarf that Eva Braun knitted for Hitler? He said it was kampfy and that he reiched it a lot, but that it could have used fuhrer stitches."

"Why did the golfer wear two pairs of pants In case he gets a hole in one"