84147

Joke of the Day

"Two pubes sat on a toilet seat...nsfw One says to the other, ""how long are we going to stay here?"" The other says ""dunno, till we get pissed off I suppose""."

"""Removing my make up"" Or how I like to call it: ""Reset face to factory settings"""

"Which Vice President was the best at making beats? Algorithm"

"What are the odds of a chronic gambler ever calling the addiction-helpline? No seriously, I've got $100 riding on this."

"""We're a completely paperless office."" Wow, that's really cool. [Later, staring at iPad dispenser in bathroom] Well this sucks."

"I think Jesus is black Because he is our father and hasn't come back yet"

"What are Kierkegaard's two favourite fruits? Melon and Broccoli!"

"Q. What did the dog say when he sat on sand paper? A. ""Rough rough""."

"I only stop browsing Reddit when I accidentally hit something ..or when it's time to wipe"

"Today I threw a penny down the well and made a wish. That the police would never find her body."