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Joke of the Day

"Why couldn't Spongebob get a mortgage? Because his house was underwater."

"Brain: Walk up to her and offer her a drink. Me: I WANT TO DRINK YOU LIKE A SIPPY CUP. Brain: Can you actually hear me?"

"A black guy, a Mexican, and a Muslim are all working on a roof together. One falls off and dies. Which one? who cares..."

"Interviewer: Name some of your weaknesses. Me: I procrastinate. Haphazard, cantankerous... Interviewer: Strengths? Me: Vocabulary?"

"So I asked my friend, if you could be in the sun as long as possible and not get sun burnt but the majority of the world hates you, would you do it? And my friend said yeah. Okay you're black."

"Three Blondes Walk Into A Bar Thought one of them would have seen it"

"I like movie reviews You always catch something new the second time"

"What does Hitler call something that makes him mad? Infuhrerating"

"why couldnt the teddy bear eat any more thanksgiving dinner? he was already stuffed!"

"3... 2... 1... sandwich? You fool! You've pressed the LUNCH button, not the LAUNCH button!"