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Joke of the Day

"If you're looking for a relationship, become a roofer. You're bound to find hot shingles in your area"

"How many Americans does it take to change a light bulb? None. According to Trump, they outsourced it to India & China."

"What did the young boy say to the pedophile who's dick was soft? Nothing, he died choking on cum."

"HER: I'd invite you in, but I never kill on a first date ME: kill? HER: haha I meant kiss stupid autocorrect ME: we are talking out loud"

"TIFU: By calling a passing play when I should have run the ball. Beast mode rules!"

"Its snowing really hard... It is really hard to see anyone in the outside world. I guess you could say I'm Snowden."

"What does as electronic engineer make for breakfast? Ohmlettes"

"A young boy got expelled for the using the C word in class The principal asked him ""That wasn't clever, was it?"" The boy replied "" No, it was cunt"""

"I'm the flower, you're the bee. Why don't you suck the sweet pollen right out of me?"

"I work at a furniture store. My boss asked me to label and price all the new items. I said, ""Hey boss. How do you want me to label this stone armchair?"" He said, ""No man, clay chair."""