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Joke of the Day

"I don't know why I got fired from my job at the M&M factory. I threw out all the Ws, they should be happy!"

"Why do women have periods? because they deserve them."

"When punching a toddler, how hard is too hard? Calm down... I'm not talking about MY kid. I know how hard to punch her. I'm her mother."

"A man walks into a bar ""Ouch!!!"", he says."

"Why do they call it a non-sequitur? Riot gear."

"I'd hate to play baseball with the witches from Macbeth. Because I don't like playing baseball with girls."

"Handjob contest Beat off the competition"

"How can you tell Russians are bad at driving stick? cause their cars are always Stalin"

"What is the difference between Donald Trump and a vibrator? A vibrator is not a genuine dick"

"What did one casket say to the other casket? ""Is that you coffin?'"