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Joke of the Day

"Anytime I'm watching something on tv my wife starts talking to me as if her words are going to expire if she doesn't use them."

"Why was the drummer sad about his boring instruments? Because he had the doldrums."

"How do you get a blonde to break her nose? Place your dick under a glass table"

"What doesn't belong in this list : Meat, Eggs, Wife, Blowjob? A. Blowjob: You can beat your meat, eggs or wife, but you can't beat a blowjob."

"Q: What did the cook say to the dough? A: I ""NEED"" you!"

"What doctors shop at Barnes and Noble? Doctors without Borders. Credit to Max Scoville."

"Oh really well you thought four inches was HUGE when we were talking about spiders."

"You know those kinds of Reddit posts that just frustrate you to death? [removed]"

"Why is Peter Pan such a terrible pilot? Because he Neverlands"

"So two baby seals walk into a club"