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Joke of the Day

"Have you seen the news about the Seamus Costello Celebrity sex tape? It's all about the star he ploughs."

"What do you call chickpeas cooked in a waffle iron? Fawaffle!"

"What do you get when you drop a piano down a mine shaft? A flat minor"

"I went to the gym today. Just kidding, I walked down the block and yelled at the neighbor kids for screaming while I'm trying to nap."

"If Trump wins the presidency, you know who's gonna be the most excited about buildin' a Southern border fence? Canada."

"""IS ANYONE HERE A DOCTOR?!?"" I screamed on the plane. 3 men shot up. ""Ok, now are any of you single? I need a sugar daddy. I do butt stuff."""

"Paralympics Q: What's better than winning the Paralympics? A: Having legs!"

"""Act your age!"" I yell at my 11 year-old daughter as I put on my Captain America t-shirt."

"*you open a ring box and inside it is an enormous pair of jeans* He went to Jared"

"What do you call a cow that doesn't give milk? A Milk Dud."