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Joke of the Day

"The devil asked his resident weatherman what the forecast was for the week ahead... ""Hail, Satan"""

"Baby's first knock knock joke Knock knock Who's there? HaHa! You're never going to get this one!"

"My daughter is late coming down to breakfast. Her 3 strips of bacon are getting cold. I mean 2 strips. Sorry, 1 strip. She'll have cereal."

"[NSFW] My favorite sex position is the JFK I splatter all over her, as she screams and tries to get out of the car."

"So a horse walks into a bar and the bartender asks, ""Why the long face?"" The horse replies, ""My wife is dying of terminal cancer."""

"How do you circumcise a redneck? Kick his sister's chin."

"Anal sex is like your first car.. You dont want it but your dad gives it to you anyway."

"I'm walking on sunshine, AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH and I'm startin' to feel AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH THIS IS TERRIBLE"

"If you love someone just tell them. Or get drunk and text them 75 times, that's practically the same thing."

"Why do teenage girls go to the bathroom in 3s and 5s? Because they literally can't even."