143685

Joke of the Day

"The inventor of the remote control died yesterday. As per his wishes, he'll be buried in between 2 couch cushions."

"Why Can't Charlie Sheen Finish the Alphabet? Because when he gets to 'P' it burns."

"""I like big butts and I can not lie"" - Some homeless guy sifting through an ashtray."

"i went to a 5 Guys burgers and fries and there was only one guy. im just gonna say what were all thinking. the other 4 guys died at benghazi"

"If all the 7 days were to get in a fight, who would win? Either Saturday or Sunday, because all others are week days."

"My girlfriend asked me to stop singing Oasis songs. I said maybe."

"The UN general assembly."

"Dear Social Media, thanks for showing me that I can like people. So long as I don't have to see, touch, or smell them."

"Why should you use six hooks on your fishing line? eFISHancy!"

"Stupid cats stealing all our women."