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Joke of the Day
"I would give 10 to most jokes here On a pH scale, cause most of them are just Basic."
Next Joke
"People always ask me, where do I come up with my status', do I make them up, or do I get them from the internet.. Truth is people. I use Status Enhancing Drugs."
"So my dad was all ""stop eating my pills"" and then I was like ""stop melting into the floor and spinning multi colored webs you talking lamp"""
"What do you call a nun in a wheel chair? Virgin Mobile"
"Doctor, my girlfriend grinds her teeth while sleeping. Dr: Put some coffee beans in her mouth and set the alarm for 7:30am"
"You shouldn't be friends with a fence, because... ...They hold you back."
"5 Jewish ladies sitting at the table in the restaurant... ...waiter comes by few minutes after the food was delivered to the table and asks: -Ladies, is ANYTHING ok?"
"Once, I got pulled over because a cop thought my car was on fire but really it was just my hair flying out the sunroof."
"Masturbation Just got back from competing in the Blindfolded Masturbation World Championship No idea where I came."
"Me: [stands under majestic tree watching leaves fall] This is beautiful [2 hours later buried under a mountain of leaves] you piece of shit"