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Joke of the Day

"How is being at a singles bar different from going to the circus? At the circus the clowns don't talk."

"What do you call an anticlimactic punchline? ""This is an actual question"""

"You know, I thought they were joking when they told me about the clowns. But then I saw them debating on national TV."

"A Canadian psychologist is selling a video that teaches you how to test your dog's IQ. Here's how it works: If you spend $12.99 for the video, your dog is smarter than you. Canadian person was smarter"

"My husband still talks about that one time he loaded the dishwasher correctly like it's going to get our kids into Harvard."

"What do you call a boomerang that doesn't work? A stick. I'll see myself out now."

"Me: I must warn you, I'm like an animal in bed. Her: That's fine by me! *burrows under the covers and falls asleep at the foot of the bed*"

"Spider: Why don't you like us? Most us are harmless and we kill all the bugs in your house? We just want to help Humans: EW EW EW EW OMG"

"My grandfather always said, ""Don't watch your money; watch your health."" So one day while I was watching my health, someone stole my money. It was my grandfather. (Jackie Mason)"

"Did you guys ever prank your passed out friend by putting his hand in a bowl of warm water and then dropping a tiny toaster in it?"